Springsteen Was Right...

I was looking up programme listings on my cable service e.p.g. (how bored was I?), and noticed that titles are truncated once they exceed a certain character length.

However, if you run a truncated title into the one following, the results can be amusing, for example:

9:00 Real Housewives of

10:00 CSI:Miami

Thus, from today's schedules, tonight's viewing takes on a whole new complexion:

Sky Movies Scifi/Horror offers

The Exorcism of Emily

On Sky Drama we can expect

The Simple Life of Noah
A Good Woman

FilmFour's showing

A Midsummer Night's
Cattle Empire

which probably shouldn't be missed, but RealityTV takes the prize with not one, but two unmissable shows back-to-back:

Incredible Child Rescues
Ghosts Caught On Tape:
Morbidly Obese

followed by

Powers of the
World's Scariest Ghosts

E!, always creative, will be showing

The Life and Death of
Girls of the Playboy
Sunset Tan

QVC undoubtedly has great deals for shoppers with

Hewlett Packard: The
Silver Treasures of India

while, in music, MTV will be showing (somewhat questionably, in my opinion)

Best of My Super Sweet

although on VH1 we can look forward to

Newlyweds: Nick &
J-Lo's Dancelife

Now who wouldn't pay exorbitant cable fees for programming like that?

57 channels...


Becca said…
My favorite is definitely "The Simple Life of Noah A Good Woman"

Brilliant post!
I can see it now - suburban housewife, three kids, happily married, gets mysterious package in the mail with plans for an Ark, and messages in her fortune cookie and such warning about rain.

Sounds like something for Patricia Arquette, but she already has a day job...
PJ said…
Those ghost shows sound pretty scary - an obese ghost coming at me with a fireball is (probably) my worst nightmare
PJ - Strangely, A Midsummer Night's Cattle Empire bothered me more - a psychologist might make something out of that...
Rachael said…
I saw A Midsummer Night's Cattle Empire, it was a load of Americans trying to do Shakespeare while attempting excrutiating English accents and 'theatrical' facial expressions. Bless 'em, they don't get out much those Americans.

Nice Blog Captain (do you mind if I call you Cappy? No? Good) Keep them coming Cappy.
Rachael said…
BTW, nothing against Americans, they've done a lot of good for the world.... I'm trying to think of a 'for instance' but nothings coming.. no wait...fast food! There you go. Fast food, and lots of it. Well done that country. Oh yes, and police actions. Fast food and police actions. Actually, fast food, police actions and Grover. So there you go. Lovely jubly.
Okay, Ray - but I'd prefer Cap, if it's all the same?

And the movie - was it the Calista Flockhart/Joan Crawford version? 'Cos that really sucked. The stampede in particular - when the dust cleared, there wasn't a single cowpat to be seen. I bet five minutes before the cameras rolled, the director yelled

"Okay boys, bang in the corks!"

That Raoul Walsh - what a kidder...

But to mangle a quote from a famous movie (50 points to whoever guesses it)

"Ray, the whole world. The whole world, Ray."

Thanks for the comments and tune in again soon!

J.D. said…
"Incredible Child Rescues Ghosts Caught On Tape: Morbidly Obese" sounds like an incredible show, don't it? :D
J.D. - We'd have to watch it and see, but yes, it do...
Incredibles Lil Brother said…
Well how could I possibly read these comments and not at least attempt to gain 50 points for guessing the movie

Would that be "Scrooged" by Chance
Did I win?
Yes indeed - 50 points to the young-but-almost-equally-incredible lil' brother!

And with only one more sibling to hear from, it's probably time to expand my profile...