So, Like I Was Saying - ATM Queues...

So there I was on my way to meet my sister, who was dropping off my nephew so I could bring him to see Clone Wars, but had to tap an ATM for funds on the way.

No problem, you say.

There's a bank at the end of my street with two machines, one of which is invariably out of service. The other had a queue of about eight or nine people waiting to use it, so best case, I was going to be in line for about ten minutes or so.

I had plenty of time - twenty mins to meet Ray and Mitch, forty mins before the movie, no worries.

Until the guy at the machine decided he wanted a mortgage or something...

I mean, it's simple - put card in, take money out. There's no negotiation, nothing difficult about it - the whole thing should take no more than 45 seconds max, and yet there's always someone who doesn't get it.

The guy (young, well-dressed, professional-looking) spent the better part of ten minutes trying to get the thing to respond; his card went in and came out about four times before he finally got it right, and then the machine wouldn't give him any money. You'd swear he was playing slots in Las Vegas...

And meanwhile the queue's getting bigger, and you know you can't go and look for another one because there isn't time and oh good! finally he's given up and the woman with the Waterford GAA cap who's been hopping from one foot to the other with her ATM card in her hand and ready 'cos she's off to the match in Croke Park steps up to the machine, inserts it and keys her number and - nothing.

Card out. Wait. Card in.

PIN number.


Card out. Wait. Card in.

PIN number.


Card out...

Realises it isn't going to work, she leaves.

Next contestant please.

Gets a little better from there; the next guy knows what he's about, the one after him has a seeing-eye person even though he's not blind and then yes! - I finally get to the terminal. It'd be just my luck if it was out of cash, but no, and 45 seconds later (see above) I'm away.

A Joe Pesci moment if ever I (almost) had one.

But there was popcorn and a movie later, so that was okay...