Only 2 More Years Till Retirement...

Today is Neptunian New Year, as calculated by being about 164.8 Earth years since it was discovered jointly by Verrier and Adams in 1846 as it passed the Sun.

My contract as Hero of Neptune runs for 3 years (but I didn't read the small print), so only have another 2 Neptunian (or about 329.6 Earth) years to go to retirement and the inevitable book and media tours.

For those of you who may never have seen my adopted world, here's a photo (taken by my nPhone):

Pretty, isn't it?

Anyhow, the commute's a little shorter these days because we're a bit closer to Earth, so that's a bonus, and there's always something to do on Triton if it gets boring.

So Happy New Year, Earthlings, or indeed "Zamzam Aktiklag" as we say out here on the Bigger Blue Marble...

Behold, The God of Thunder!!!

Today, my nephew took me (!) to see THOR.

We've been going to movies - especially superhero movies - since he was about 8 years old, and we always have a great time, and this year promises to be just as good, with (besides Thor) X-Men, Captain America and Green Lantern to look forward to, as well as Harry Potter.

Anyhow, Thor was a hero I never expected to see on the big screen, so I was excited when it was announced that none other than Kenneth Branagh would be behind the megaphone for this project. Somehow, it seemed right.

The last time the God of Thunder (Marvel's version, anyway) made it to any screen in live format was, I believe, on TV in 'The Incredible Hulk Returns' in which a large actor with a small hammer played the character most unconvincingly.

The new version, happily, is epic, with the added bonus of an appearance by Rene Russo.

For those of you who've spent the last 18 months in Ulfheim, the Thunder God is portrayed by Chris Hemsworth, last seen on the large screen as one George Kirk, father of James T., in J.J. Abrams's Star Trek.

He looks like this:

The story centres on how Thor, son of Odin (Anthony Hopkins), is banished from Asgard and stripped of his powers for his arrogance in going to war against the Frost Giants. He will regain his powers, and the hammer Mjolnir, only when he has learnt humility and wisdom.

As we all should.

There are a number of comic moments as Thor finds his feet on Earth, with the help of physicist Jane Foster, played by the lovely Natalie Portman, aided by Stellan Skarsgaard and Kat Dennings (whose role appears to be so Jane can explain what an Einstein-Rosen bridge is), and intervention by the Lady Sif and The Warriors Three against the machinations of Thor's brother, Loki (God of Mischief) and Agent Coulson of SHIELD (remember him?).

In any event, it all works out without the use of iambic pentameter, setting up for a sequel and Thor's appearance in the upcoming Avengers movie.

There's also an appearance by Jeremy Renner as Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye, Marvel's answer to Green Arrow, but it doesn't detract from the story.

All in all, not a bad way to spend 114 minutes.

Thanks, Mitch - next one's on me...

Elisabeth Sladen...

Somewhat late, but I felt I couldn't allow the passing of Elisabeth Sladen to go without comment of my own.

As a ten-year-old, Sarah Jane Smith was the first of The Doctor's companions that I can really recall, travelling first with Jon Pertwee and then Tom Baker in that amazing blue box.

At teatime every Saturday we'd watch as their adventures unfolded, the cliffhanger invariably involving Sarah Jane either screaming or calling "Doctor!" in panic. Yet the character was both strong and resourceful, on more than one occasion rescuing the Time Lord himself from almost-certain death.

Thus it was a treat to see Elisabeth Sladen return to reprise her role with David Tennant's Doctor (even with K-9) and even more so when she got her own show, which ran for four seasons and introduced her and the character she brought to life to a whole new generation of young fans.

The success with which the character of Sarah Jane returned to the consciousness of fans everywhere is a tribute to the actress and, indeed, what makes Ms. Sladen's passing all the more poignant. Her death last week, from cancer at the relatively young age of 63, took most by surprise.

Russell T Davies, the man responsible for bringing Elisabeth Sladen (and Sarah Jane Smith)back to the Doctor Who universe, said that "...The universe was lucky to have Sarah Jane Smith and the world was lucky to have Lis."

Both will be missed.

One Law To Rule Them All, One Law For Us...

In a bizarre turn of events, the website Blastr.com, part of the Syfy group, owned by NBC Universal, has posted a spoiler for the post-credits "Easter Egg" to be found following the forthcoming 'Thor' movie.

(I'd post the link here, but it shares the whole thing - go to www.blastr.com and search for Thor...)

Does anyone but me find it odd (and not a little hypocritical) that a studio should be pointing people towards a video which would appear (from the posted screenshot) to have been recorded illegally, for a movie by a competitor that does not go on release in the USA until April 27th?

In cinemas and on DVDs there are anti-piracy adverts that warn of stiff penalties for piracy of movies. Here we appear to have a case where a studio-owned website is endorsing the practise at the expense of a competitor.

The lawyers are circling - there's blood in the water...

In Brightest Day, In Blackest Night...

It's about time Hal got his own movie, and on June 17th, he will.

The good people at Film School Rejects released the following WonderCon footage, which I felt ought to be propagated a bit:



Beware his power...

Read Books...

So there I was, Stumbling through the great Web of a Sunday morning, when I came upon one of those sites with lists of "Things You Shouldn't Do Because They Annoy Me".

You know the type - people decide what they don't like about a subject or activity and post it in the form of a '50 things' list.

In this particular one, from the website "Three Guys One Book", four guys present a list of 40 things they'd rather one avoid as a writer. Apparently running short of ideas, they invite comments from the public to make up the numbers.

Anyhow, my attention was caught by the first couple of 'don'ts', "Don't use italics for more than one line," and "Don't tell me what someone looks like if it doesn't matter," and, struck by the sheer wisdom and clarity of thought, I continued past such pearls as " Don't tell the story with your head, tell it with your body. Even if it's cerebral" (what does that even mean?) and "Don’t glue your story to a cause or a distrupted (sic) group or country and call it a novel. I call that bad reporting." Not a Hemingway fan, then.

Of course, the comments were all subjective and there were the usual caveats, like "Don't listen to me", etc., but all in all it seemed a little self-indulgent.


But if I thought that was bad, the next site I came across was this one, where the writer, expressing her frequent disappointment with the content of books, prefers to admire the covers instead.

W, as they say, TF?

I should explain that the writer, Kirsty Logan, is herself a published author; however I find it strange that she should never have read those books which in her article she claims have influenced her work or otherwise resonated with her in some way.

And while I cannot deny that I agree with her feelings regarding bookshops and libraries, in that they are among my favourite places to visit, I have to wonder at an author's claim that imagining how a story should go is preferable to being disappointed by the reality.

I mean, how difficult can it be?

1. Pick up book.
2. Read first page.
3. If interested, acquire and continue.

It's not rocket science.

At least it wasn't, up to now...

All Of This Has Happened Before...

...and, proving that the networks at least are doomed not to learn from their mistakes, it's happening again.

I returned recently from a vacation to New York, to read from the ether that popular science fiction drama Caprica, a show I enjoyed, has been axed by Syfy due to poor ratings performance.

A number of factors, it would seem, contributed to this: Syfy's decision to split the show's first season into two halves was one, then bringing the show back in a less favourable timeslot was no doubt responsible for a drop in audience numbers.

The remaining episodes in the season, which do not resolve storylines as the show was expected to continue to a second run, have apparently also been pulled from the schedules, to be shown 'sometime in 2011'. It is of biting irony to fans of Battlestar Galactica, the series to which Caprica is a prequel, that five episodes remain, and that these 'Final Five' will remain unaired until Syfy has a suitable gap in its schedules.

I remain mystified as to the reasoning behind the lifecycle of TV shows. While I'm fully aware that programming is produced on the basis of how much revenue it will generate, I have to wonder if executives take any interest at all in the opinions of their audiences. Do ratings alone determine a show's viability in all cases, or are other factors in play?

In the case of Syfy, who would give one to believe that the station's purpose was to deliver, if not produce, science-fiction and fantasy-related programming and whose stated slogan is 'Imagine Greater', at what level did someone decide that Professional Wrestling would be either suitable or popular programming for its audience?

That's entirely out of step with the format of the network, and would be like ESPN broadcasting Mass from the Vatican, or MTV showing music videos.

Not that a commissioning channel shouldn't be able to drop a non-performing show - Flash Gordon, for example, should never have made it to TV in the first place - but to kill something off without giving it a decent chance seems to me just wrong. And to handicap a show just so it will fail is nothing less than - I hesitate to use the word 'murder' - but you understand what I mean.

It would have been good if Syfy could have learned from the example of 'Firefly' - another well-written, well-acted show that went before its time but could have run for several years - but I doubt there'll be a reprieve.

Unless another channel buys the rights...

A Legend Passes...

I was saddened by news of the passing of Tony Curtis, screen legend of my youth.

Born Bernard Schwartz and raised in the Bronx, New York, Curtis began his acting career after leaving the US Navy after World War II, starring in minor roles until breaking into the mainstream with a part in Winchester '73, headlined by James Stewart.

Other roles followed, in pictures such as The Black Shield of Falworth, before he made his name with roles alongside Burt Lancaster in 'The Sweet Smell of Success' and 'Trapeze', and with Kirk Douglas in 'Spartacus' and 'The Vikings'.

For me, however, it was his appearances in comedies such as 'Operation Petticoat' (opposite Cary Grant), as the conniving yet good-hearted Lt. Holden, and as Joe/Josephine/Shell Oil, Jr., in Billy Wilder's 'Some Like It Hot' that I'll remember him for.

However, his role as Leslie Gallant III, aka 'The Great Leslie' in Blake Edwards' 'The Great Race' opposite Jack Lemmon (his co-star in 'Some Like It Hot') as Professor Fate, cemented that movie as one of my all-time favourites.

Here's a classic scene, also featuring the lovely Natalie Wood, the not-so-lovely Keenan Wynn, and the positively dastardly Jack Lemmon and Peter Falk:



It's six-and-a-half minutes long, but worth it...

 Tony Curtis (1925-2010)

...

This is the flag of my country:

It's a flag of which I'm very proud, and I get to see it flying over my workplace seven days a week.

What you may not be aware of is the fact that here I'm displaying it upside-down, in the manner indicating distress.

A clever design on the part of our Founding Fathers then, ensuring that we keep our nation's problems to ourselves and say nothing, lest the neighbours gossip.

"What's that, Mrs. O'Leary? Father Murphy did what to young Jimmy? I think he's been telling stories, hasn't he, sure and begorrah the priests would never do a thing like that now would they? Beat some sense into the lad - for his own good, of course - and send him to confession..."

"What's that, Mr. O'Brien? Corruption in government, you say? Sure and didn't you elect them? And you wouldn't vote for crooks, now would ye? Go 'way now, begob, and don't be causing trouble, or I'm sure the Revenue would love to give you an aul' audit..."

"The house I built is falling down around your ears, Mrs. O'Sullivan? Sue me..."

"Banks taking liberties with the economy, you say, Mr. Delaney? Keep your mouth shut and keep paying or we'll take your house."

I think the neighbours have all seen our dirty linen by now, haven't they?

We are a financially bankrupt nation, run by the morally and ethically bankrupt - and I fear things will only get worse.

Some hero, huh?

It Probably Is...

Let's take a minute to enjoy this without further comment from me...

While You Were Out...

I know, it's been a couple of months for you, but it's only been about two or three days for me. I had to do something with the timestream, but everything's fine now, as can be shown from the fact that we once more have French Fries, a 26-letter alphabet and, unfortunately, taxes (you'll thank me later).

Oh, and the Pope was supposed to be a respected member of an obscure Australian Trappist order, but I just couldn't get it all to hang together (the letter J was a particular nightmare).

So, in your timestream, what's been happening?

Well, my sister got married, for a start, just over a month ago. Her husband, Stephen, is a great guy and they've known each other for a number of years, so they're both very happy, and so is Mitchel (my nephew).

Here's a sneaky video of their first dance, courtesy of YouTube:



The wedding day itself went like clockwork, and a most excellent time was had by all, to the extent that the party was still in progress at 5:30 the following morning and had been joined by guests from a wedding party of the previous day who found themselves in the Residents' Bar in the hotel when the festivities moved there from the main function room. The fact that the groom plays in a 12-piece swing orchestra (who played the reception), meant that the music continued into the early hours.

Sore heads and good memories.

In other news, I'm learning to play golf.

Maybe it's my age, maybe it's just time, but after a round with my dad, organised as part of Steve's stag weekend, I decided I'm going to give it a go. It's kind of weird to me - I'm about as coordinated as a very clumsy person (secret identity thing) and it's embarrassing how I seem to miss the ball more often than I hit it - but I'm improving and should be certified for actual golf course play reasonably soon...

And then there's the Italian lessons.

I signed up for a course in beginners Italian - 14 week course, Monday evenings. I don't know why, except that I like languages and wanted to do something that would get me out of the house of an evening. I already know the basics - 'Si', 'Grazie' and 'Questa é la sua valigia?', so that's a start.

We'll see how I get on...